I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
