I showed him my bush... on skype.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
