Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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