There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
