We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
