I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
