with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You're a waste of cheezeits
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize