My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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