i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
