last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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