He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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