More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
