too bad you live with your parents still
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
