We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize