Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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