on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
