it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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