tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
