We're facebook friends in real life
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
