If i come over, it means nothing
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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