I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
