Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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