My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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