I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He kissed a someone with a penis
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
