I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
