Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
