You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Randomize
