you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
