I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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