The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
