i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
