Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
