i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
