She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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