My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
