I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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