there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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