chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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