Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
