also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Bang-toberfest begins!!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
