She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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