she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I believe in your delicious
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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