..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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