Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
