You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize