You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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