dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
