the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
