yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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