I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
