Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
