Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
