i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
