there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
