i just google imaged poop.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
