Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize