you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
