She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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