NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
