How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
