Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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