none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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