Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
