he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
