Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
