FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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